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A lead rewrite is in order

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Hi all,

I apologize for blowing in so boldly earlier this month with lead and infobox edits. These edits were reverted, which is why I'm here in the talk section. I am here to say that I cringe when I read this lead, and it seems to have turned even worse since I last touched it. It's unwieldy, unorganized, and overall a big stinking mess.

My concerns, as follows.

Unsourced lists of genres appear three times in the article introduction: once in the infobox and twice in the lead text. Clearly these are a longstanding problem, since they were brought up over four years ago (#Problematic, non-cited declaration) and nothing has constructively changed since then. In my lead rewrite from ~the 5th of this month, my primary goal was getting rid of these lists. I highlight the following cases:

  • "church: Southern gospel, spirituals" (in infobox). "Church music" is an incredibly broad category, one that spans 2,000 years of Christian religious music. Therefore, I assert that references to "church music" are non-constructive bloat, and that the traditions it describes would be better served under a "traditional American" label or the like, alongside secular folk traditions.
  • ...and American folk music forms including Appalachian, Cajun, Creole... Creole music, which is African-American, is not clearly distinguished from predominately white Cajun and Appalachian music. This is but one example of the article's poor treatment of different ethnic musical traditions, and the (often blurry) divides between them.
  • "...and the cowboy Western music styles of Hawaiian, New Mexico, Red Dirt, Tejano, and Texas country." One editor who rolled my changes back claimed I had a prejudice against including country's "origins in Western music." I have no prejudice against this; my prejudice is against poorly written references to these origins. And of all my issues with this lead, this selection is the one that drives me furthest up the wall.
As with the rest of the lead, reference to Western music is followed by an indiscriminate vomit of genres. Contemporary styles of Western music, such as Red Dirt and Texas country, seem to be listed as antecedents of country as a whole. Hawaiian music, which is important in its own right as the originator of steel guitar, is tacked on as an afterthought. Additionally, Tejano and New Mexico music have not-insubstantial overlap with northern Mexican music; like with the already-mentioned poor treatment of African-American music, country's relationship to Mexican music should be more clearly highlighted.
This statement is followed by six consecutive citations, most of which should be placed in the middle, after commas, so the reader can tell where specific assertions originate from. Also, none of these are strictly "cowboy music."
Most of the listed traditions are too tenuous to warrant inclusion: these include Native American music, Celtic, Irish, early British, and French folk music, and jota. Mexican (corrido, norteño, ranchera) and African-American music, on the other hand, deserve more attention than they currently receive. Also, "singing cowboys"? The last time I checked, those were from Hollywood movies. (This is even how the article body uses the term! Come on!) "Cowboy ballads" is a better, more accurate turn of phrase, if we're to include anything like it at all.
There is a similar issue in the "origins" section of the infobox, which lists some of the traditions from this list: either substantiate your claims, or don't add them at all.

I have additional concerns about the general article tone and content, but these are addressed well enough by other users (see #Problematic, non-cited declaration, #Recommended Sub-Section Changes - Topic too big for one page, and #problems at a glance). All in all, my main issue is the terrible lead and introduction. The rest can wait, it's contentious enough on its own.

If I have not been clear enough, I hope I can articulate myself better throughout the rest of this thread. Have a great day. 15:50, 30 December 2022 (UTC) Marisauna (talk) 15:50, 30 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

As a scot I can blatantly hear the celtic folk influence in the early recordings. I'd find it weird not to be mentioned. It's cited in the CMA museum. But wouldn't be offended either by the way, it would just be a weird omission. All of those listed do not seem tenuous at all to me but accurately describe the root of the genre. 92.7.174.253 (talk) 00:36, 12 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Country Music Edit

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Unless I read over it. I would love to see someone who is more eloquent with words than I, to add Albert E Brumley to this. He might be gospel but his songs Ill Fly Away, Turn the Radio On etc.. are crossover songs that have had solid influence on country music and bluegrass. He might even be considered 1st generation country music if not early second generation. He wrote over 600 hundred songs and I heard (not fact) that Ill Fly Away has been translated into more languages than any other American Song 2605:46C0:1279:0:A180:AC91:A87B:F683 (talk) 02:51, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Restructuring of the "Criticism" segment

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I redid the "Criticism" segment, renaming it to "Culture" and instead making it a segment within that section. I know that this is a sensitive topic, so to avoid any edit wars, I think we should all discuss the topic here. Sprucecopse (talk) 21:57, 17 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education assignment: English Composition 1102

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This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 23 January 2024 and 17 May 2024. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): MatthewT04 (article contribs).

— Assignment last updated by MatthewT04 (talk) 04:16, 5 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Overstatement

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Removing or belittling Appalachian influence within the article must be corrected 2603:6011:F400:DAC:4492:FE1D:3BB1:95A6 (talk) 14:36, 7 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

You can submit a requestLil Sad Lil Happy (talk)